Susan Dishman went home to be with the Lord on July 28, 2003. Her 59 years of life, and especially her 3 year battle with ovarian cancer are summarized in her favorite verse, Romans 8:28: “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good to them who are called according to His purpose.” Though she thought of herself as an ordinary wife and mother, all those who came to know her quickly found out that “this was no ordinary person you’re dealing with.” Her sweetness was matched by her elegance, and her penetrating wisdom led her family to nickname her “the oracle.” Her family and friends marveled at her courage during her trials as she drew on her faith in Jesus Christ, who enabled her to use her deep insight into the needs of others to provide guidance and encouragement.
Susan was born on Aug. 30, 1943, in Oklahoma City to Helen Ethel (Kindblade) and Elwood Davis Sanders. She graduated from Carnegie Mellon University with a BS in Home Economics Education, where she was awarded a fellowship to the Merrill Palmer Institute for Child & Family Development. She married John Moreland Dishman on July 10, 1965. He survives her along with their 3 sons, David (wife Elizabeth), Mark (wife Angie) and Peter, two granddaughters, Susanna and Lydia, sister Shari Sanders Schwarz, nieces Megan and Jamison, nephew Daniel (wife Kathy) and their children Victoria and Nathaniel.
As a lifelong teacher she taught in several public and private schools. She was co-founder of the Emmanuel Christian School in Whippany, NJ. As an empty-nester she became a certified academic language therapist, and found great satisfaction in helping dyslexic children learn to read and write. She was a member of the Academic Language Therapy Association.
A Presbyterian believer for most of her life, Susan had a profound and personal trust in the sovereignty of God, even as in His providence she was led to walk with Him in the valley of the shadow of death. Shortly before she died she expressed as her fondest hope that all her future generations would likewise share in the joys of His covenant promises.
In lieu of flowers contributions can be made to Town North Presbyterian Church Children’s Ministries Fund.
Difficult Tasks
If you read the front page, you know that Susan went to be with the Lord today. We are doing ok, though we are all in various states of the grieving process. Right now, we're going through address books trying to let everyone know what has happened. If you know people who need to know who do not already know, please let us know at peter@dishmans.net. Thanks.
The end draws near
Susan had a very difficult night last night, especially with breathing. When John described Susan's condition to the hospice nurse this morning, she said that the end could be very near. Pray for Susan as she approaches that moment of being away from the body and with the Lord.
More difficulty breathing, less strength
Yesterday evening, Susan opened her eyes a little bit, but was unable to do more than that as her strength has continued to dwindle. Breathing continued to be a bit labored, though her pulse was strong and her blood pressure unusually good.
Thanks again to our neighbors, who brought us an absolutely scrumpteous meal - what a blessing it has been to live on Ash Circle.
Vespers was again good last night - John made the comment that just as Christ turned an instrument of death into a symbol of hope in the cross, so he is turning the master bedroom, which could be a symbol of suffering and death, into a place of hope and worship through our time together there. We praise God for his continued mercy and faithfulness to us in all things.
A quiet day & oxygen
Susan has been sleeping today again. She was having trouble breathing, so we put her on the lowest level of oxygen, and she seems to be breathing and resting more easily. Please pray for her continued comfort, and for the Lord to do his work in each of us as we sit at her bedside, hoping that she might yet speak another word.
A moment of alertness
Today there were fewer opportunities to communicate with Susan, but she still made some positive responses as we did our usual nightly routine of hymns, prayer, and scripture reading. John was able to have a special moment with her this afternoon as he read Proverbs 31 to her, told her how she was that woman to him, and she responded as best she could, which we took to be "I love you." Thank you for your continued prayers.
Susan continued to be under the effect of Adevan last night, but from somewhere between waking and sleeping, she could hear us. As we sang her favorite hymns, her mouth would suddenly break into a partial smile. Pray that Susan will be able to "wake up" from the Adevan and all of the other things going on in her body so that we can share some more moments of hope together. Pray that we will rest in the knowledge that God will take her at just the right time.
The Long Sleep Continues
The Adevan has continued to have its effect and Susan continues to sleep (or at least she was sleeping when I last saw her around 2:30 pm). Today a reclining chair that my mom and dad ordered awhile ago arrived - it is the nicest recliner in which I have ever reclined, and will make watch-care duty much easier on whoever has that privilege. Thanks in advance to Bonnie for bringing over dinner tonight! Thanks to each one of you for your continued prayers in this difficult time - as you join us in our grief, remember to apply the promises of the gospel to your own hearts as well.
Finally Sleeping
Susan took some Adevan (sp) this afternoon and appears to be sleeping soundly. This is good because last night she was very agitated all night, and the Fenergan does not seem able any longer to help her get real sleep. Hopefully, the sleep she is getting now will enable her to be a little bit more lucid later this evening and tomorrow. Thanks to Roxanne and Kim and the Bowman's for our latest installments of food! Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers.
Down and Up and Level?
Today started off as a rough day - Susan's meds and lack of nutrition were taking their toll and she was a much more disoriented and even a bit cantankerous, which is extremely unusual for her. Susan became more calm, however, after John, David, and Shari managed to get her into her wheelchair and onto the back porch. This was the state that she was in when Karen Welch and Jill Boyd brought us a wonderful dinner, of which Susan even had a bit of rice (even though we were trying to keep her from having it since she still has a complete intestinal blockage - we are hoping the rice will drain through the PEG tube). Now Susan is resting again in bed, and has taken a new medication which will hopefully combat the disorienting effects she has been experiencing. Please pray for that drug to be effective in helping her maintain lucidity and that John will get a good night sleep tonight as he trades places with David on the night-shift of our watch-care operation.
Last night Susan was up every hour, and as a result so was John - you can imagine that he is exhausted today. Please pray that as David sits in with Susan this morning that John will be able to take some supernaturally refreshing naps, and tonight that both Susan would sleep better and we would be able to work out a sleeping arrangement that would allow John to get more sleep.
On a good note, all of the equipment provided by hospice (machines to drain this and that, bedside tables, wheelchair) have arrived and are working well, and the HHA (Home Health Aid) who came yesterday evening really hit it off with Susan, who looked and felt a lot better in her pink pajamas after Francis left. Susan continues to struggle with disorientation, but continues to be her sweet self. After we prayed for John last night, she told us how much our being there meant to her and that "this is what it is all about." "If it's not," she said, "be sure to tell me!"
Home Again
Susan came home from Medical City yesterday evening by non-emergency medical transfer. She had a much smoother ride than on the trip to the hospital, and was quickly accomodated in the hospital bed in the master bedroom that was delivered the day before. Yesterday evening, we enjoyed a good meal cooked by David's wife Elizabeth, a good visit with Susan (after learning how to use all of the new medical equipment and fighting with a irrascible IV pump), and "vespers" from Psalm 116. Susan then took a Fenergan for nausea and was soon asleep. Thank you all for your prayers for a safe and comfortable transfer from hospital to home, and please continue to pray for God's mercy and grace as we care for her here.
After several attempts to provide an alternate path for stomach drainage, the radiology team was finally successful in placing a PEG tube today. This has allowed Susan's nasal tube to be removed, providing a relief from a big source of discomfort for her. This is a small--but significant--victory in the midst of her overall decline. As a result of sedation from the surgery Susan has been sleeping most of the day, and has generally been comfortable.
Today we committed to admitting Susan to hospice care in our home, starting Monday. This is, of course, a psychological milestone, since we are now recognizing that Susan is nearing the end of her days in this flesh, even as we are confident that "absent from the body means present with the Lord." St. Paul Hospice will be providing medical and practical services, and I will be the primary caregiver. I am very concerned about being adequate for this role, and I will appreciate your prayers for me that I will be able to show in a very practical way the full measure of my love for the love of my life. Shari has agreed to help me in this role during the next few weeks before she returns to NC.
The Latest News
We are sorry that we have not been able to post more information to all of you faithful readers and prayers over the last 24 hours. We'll try to post more as we have time and opportunity, but here are the basic things that have been going on.
Yesterday morning, doctors attempted to put in what is called a PEG tube to drain stomach fluids instead of the cumbersome nose tube. Unfortunately the doctor doing the placement was unable to do so because of the extensiveness of the cancer surrounding the stomach. As a result, we are back to the nose tube, but Susan has been tolerating that very well, even though it can itch.
Last night was a good night as the newer pain medication kicked in, and Susan was much more comfortable and lucid. She even got some good rest for the first time in several days, and as a result John was also able to get about six hours of sleep between being woken up by various visits from nurses and techs. Dave and Gayle came in for an encouraging visit in the evening, and though Susan seemed to close her eyes for part of the Scripture reading and prayer, she opened her eyes at the end and looked revivified. Later on in the evening after we read some more Scripture and were praying, she again appeared to be drifting off when suddenly she began to pray another moving and appropriate prayer, some of which came directly from the visit with Dave earlier in the day!
Today, Susan was able to see a few visitors (and even sit up in a chair), including a good visit with niece Megan. Although the drugs can have some interesting effects, Susan continues to have a wonderful smile, a good sense of humor, pretty good memory, and lovingly interacts with each one of us. She appreciated the visits and the cards that came in the mail today, as well as the prayers that were prayed for her tonight at our church.
Prayers would be appreciated for continued progress in pain management and lucidity, as well as for the search for a good hospice situation should we make it to that point. Thank the Lord for the mercy that he is showing us as he answers your prayers and ours.
Hard News
On Saturday, two days after her 38th wedding anniversary, Susan was taken to Medical City ER for severe nausea, pain, and fever. Yesterday, doctors confirmed that the cancer has spread substantively, that she has a complete intestinal blockage, and that she has an infection in her blood. Their prognosis: Susan may only have "days to weeks" until the cancer runs its course. As a result of the pain medication and the high fever caused by infection, Susan is sometimes more and sometimes less with us, but when the doctors come in, she sometimes seems to return to her usual self - able to tell them what is going on with her body and asking good questions. During one of her windows of lucidity last night, Susan (who has had trouble putting together a few sentences because of the medication), prayed a long and moving prayer for each member of the family that God would be faithful to his covenant promises and that we would be faithful to receive and rest upon them. The Lord is clearly still at work teaching us and giving us hope and comfort through the gospel - and in a way that is totally characteristic of him, he has given us strength through the most physically fragile member of our family. Please pray especially for the mercy of the Lord to Susan right now - that he would stem her pain and provide for meaningful moments and conversations with the family. Pray also for the mercy of the Lord to the family - that we would take hope like Susan in the gospel, that we would encourage and support each other well with that gospel, that we would be wise in our care of Susan in the coming days to weeks. Pray that we might all have the vision and the desire of Psalm 103:
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, 3 who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, 5 who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. 6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. 7 He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. 8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. 14 For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. 15 As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. 17 But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, 18 to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments. 19 The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all. 20 Bless the LORD, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, obeying the voice of his word! 21 Bless the LORD, all his hosts, his ministers, who do his will! 22 Bless the LORD, all his works, in all places of his dominion. Bless the LORD, O my soul!
I know that many of you who check this page from outside the DFW area are unaware that Susan was taken by ambulance at noon on Saturday to the Medical City ER with severe nausea, pain and fever. After a battery of tests the prognosis is very poor. She continues to be in substantial pain that is only mediated by strong narcotic-based drugs. The latter have caused her to have severe mental disorientation, such that a family member needs to be with her 24/7. This coming week is likely to be a difficult one as the final test results come in and the physicians make their recommendations. We will be consulting with a pain specialist who hopefully will be able to provide alternate pain relief without the need for the disorienting drugs she is now taking. Your prayers for wisdom and comfort for Susan will be appreciated.
PS: It is likely that our host server for dishmans.net is down, so we apologize for the delay in making this post public.
This is a belated anniversary wish, since events of yesterday didn't allow me to post until now. As many of you know, Dave & Gayle Clelland were married on the exact same date as Susan & I: July 10, 1965. I always like to say that Dave & Gayle were married in Pittsburgh, and went to school in St. Louis, while Susan & I were married in St. Louis and went to school in Pittsburgh. Furthermore, Susan's midde name is Gayle, and the Clelland's youngest daughter is Susie, which is what Susan's family has always called her (hence, you hear the Schwarz's calling her "Aunt Susie"). It's geat when the Lord has a sense of humor, isn't it? In His providence we all wound up at Town North Church where Dave & Gayle have been our close friends and faithful pastor since 1989. Regrettably, this is the first year since then that the four of us haven't gone out on July 10 to celebrate.
The reason is that on July 9, Susan had one of her worst nights yet. By 4 am on the tenth, she was paralyzed with pain and could just barely down the extra pain meds that I tried to give to her. Eventually, she was able to take them, and as a result slept until 1:45 PM. Last night we decided to be proactive in getting ahead of the pain, and doubled up on her new more powerful painkiller before going to bed. This worked, and she was able to get through until 6 am before she had to have a supplemental. And good news: her weight has now PASSED the century mark. Today, with David and Elizabeth in town from Atlanta the kids are hosting us for family celebration of 38 wonderful years. We are really looking forward to our time together with all 16 of us. But of course, we'll miss Grandma Tex, and her witty ways. In some aspects as Lydia makes great strides in her language abilty, she'll "fill in" for Grandma, and make us laugh just as much, even as our hearts ache to see Granda again in the eternal state.
Last night, I climbed into bed totally exhausted by the day's activities, and not just a little worry about Susan. She climbed in next to me, and then knelt above me and prayed the most wonderful prayer--thanking the Lord for our 38 years together and for me personally. I know that grown men aren't supposed to cry--but what else can you do when you realize how great a gift you've been given in the person of the most wonderful wife a husband could ever ask for. Thank you, Lord!
I know that some of you were very concerned after reading the last post, so I wanted to let you know that last night went much better. Susan got a new prescription yesterday for a more powerful painkiller. After taking it she said, "it really feels good not to hurt." With me fighting a summer chest cold, she even seems to have more energy than I do. Thanks for praying.
Last night was a beastly one. Around 10 PM Susan came in to where I was with tears in her eyes because the pain was so bad. Nothing seemed to stop it. I called the doctor and fully expected to be taking her to the ER. Instead, he recommended a triple dose of pain killer plus 2 ibuprofens--after waiting first for her anti-nausea pill to kick in. This seemed to work. She took one more painkiller and 2 more ibuprofens near dawn, and then promptly became the sleeping beauty for the rest of the morning. She is just now getting up as I write this. But she says she doesn't hurt at all.
I've left a message for Dr. Savin's nurse asking for stronger painkillers to prevent a recurrence of last night's scenario. Wednesday we have an appointment with him and perhaps more chemo. As you might expect this is a high stress time for us with the increasing pain. We appreciate your prayers.
At the end of the last post I alluded to the problem Susan has been having with pain. This has increased over the weekend. She is finding that she must take her painkillers on a regular schedule rather than waiting for the pain to occur. In addition she is taking about twice as much as before to get relief, and even then she remarks, "it doesn't cover the pain like it use to." Because of this she's had several really bad nights--which for some reason is when the peak pain happens. We're wondering if this is somehow related to the TPN which is also an overnight process. We'll discuss this issue with Dr. Savin when we see him this week. In the meantime, Susan's weight continues to climb toward the century mark, and she seems to have more energy for daily activities despite the pain.
The picture on our home page says it all. It was taken by Peter today as Susan was adorned in her new slinky knits which were a gift from her beloved sister Shari. She looks very much like the Susan we have known and loved in her healthy days, which is a testimony to how much better she is doing this week.
Yesterday, for example, she felt strong enough to have a "girls day out" (i.e., without yours truly tagging along and hovering over her). She and Shari got their nails done and celebrated with a slushy from Sonic. Later in the evening we had a good time with the visiting granddaughters and family, dining on a special chicken tender dish prepared by Grandpop.
Today, we had two medical visits. The first was to Texas Oncology where Susan was to have a lab test and get a shot that helps promote red blood cell manufacture. However, she didn't get the shot. Her red counts were so high that the shot was not needed!
Next it was off to Dr. Rogoff, who, on observing Susan in her aforementioned slinky knits, says: "you're looking much much better." He confirmed that she was no longer dehydrated, and was pleased at the various charts I provided him (in Excel of course) showing positive weight gain, stable blood glucose and a temperature that had returned to normal without the morning spike.
It appears that the combination of TPN, new chemo, and your prayers, are having a positive effect. At the same time Susan is having more pain--and taking more pain killer. Please continue to pray for relief in this area even as we give thanks for the current good progress.
Sunday was a good day for Susan, despite the chemo side effects. She made it to church and we were able to go out to lunch with 12 of our closest relatives. (Thanks, Dan, for treating!) By Sunday night, however, Susan was complaining of shortness of breath, and slept sitting up on the sofa to alleviate that. Monday morning her temperature skyrocketed to 101, but after 2 tylenol came down below normal. The same exact thing happened this morning. Tonight, she says that just sitting still and breathing is an effort for her. We suspect that she is getting dehydrated again. The nurse is coming tomorrow morning so we will check this out.