In our family devotions this afternoon, we were led to that passage in Matthew 4 where Jesus is directed by the Spirit to the wilderness to fast for 40 days and nights. This seemed appropriate in light of Susan's own medically-imposed fast over the last week. It's quite amazing to think that Jesus could go 40 days without eating--obviously this was a supernatural feat. You will recall that at the end of his fast he was tempted by the devil, who immediately attacks his perceived weak point: hunger. "If you are the Son of God, turn these stones into bread," the devil challenges. In response Jesus quotes Scripture, in particular, Deuteronomy (8:3), where Moses tells the children of Israel: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." That quotation had us reading all of Deuteronomy 8, where we found Moses reminding the children of Israel about their own 40 year trial in the wilderness where they, too, were hungry and complained about the food that God provided, namely, manna. In that context he utters the verse quoted by our Lord above.
We were struck by several comparisons with our present situation. First, the 40 years. It was just 40 years ago that we met, began dating and fell in love. Not to be corny, but there is an unfortunate comparison in our history with the chick flick, Sleepless in Seattle. Like the characters played by Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, our love was kindled by a trip in January 1963 to the top of the Empire State Building where we gazed out on a skyline that looks very much like it does today, sans the World Trade Center.
Next there is obvious comparison with hunger and the shortage of food in the medical wilderness that we have entered. Like the Israelites, this is time of testing for us because the likely outcome--according to the doctor--is not one we would choose. Instead, we must choose to live by the Word of God and depend on His steadfast love for us, despite the circumstances.
And then there is the temptation. As Jesus was tempted to take a shortcut to feed his hunger, so we are tempted to stake everything on the efficacy of medical science, namely, the clinical trial. We were reminded again that we need to see the clinical trial as a providential provision by the Lord, and the outcome is entirely in His hands who loves us. In some ways, I suppose, our life in Christ--with its trials and tribulations--is a minature of His own life. As the Son of God He could have unleashed unimaginable power that would have destroyed even the devil. Yet He subjected His will to that of His Father. Likewise, as sons of God, we must pray the same prayer He prayed in Gethsemene: "not my will but Thine be done."
I'm glad to report that Susan is having a relatively good day today. We were encouraged by a visit from Pastor Dave this afternoon, and just now I hear her talking on the phone--indicating a bit more energy level than yesterday. On the negative side, she seems to be struggling with more nausea last evening and today. For some reason, evenings are when she struggles most. On the positive side the ice pack on our street melted sufficiently for me to get out to the store and get Susan's current favorite food: Breyer's vanilla ice cream. For some unknown reason, this seems to sit better with her than anything else--including chicken soup. We will appreciate your continued prayers for her to have sufficient strength to make the trip to MDA tomorrow.
Posted by John Dishman at February 26, 2003 12:53 PM